The Kick-Ass Blog
Are you ready to quit parenting?
Parenting sucks sometimes. If you’re lucky, your kids take it easy on you. If you’re really lucky, they make you look like great parents. What if the little plastic arrow on the cardboard spinner of your Game of Life doesn’t land on the lucky side? Well, you can be in...
Understanding your stress responses of fight, flight, freeze, and fawn.
“Why didn’t you honk at him?!” my wife Betsy demands, exasperated and angry with the driver who just cut us off. She would have laid on the horn but I swerved instead. Betsy’s question immediately triggers shame. Real men fight for their space. We are supposed to...
What if I just try a little harder? About meditation hacks and wasted efforts.
I feel like a fool. I just learned how to use Flonase. You don't understand. This is huge. I have taken Flonase for over 20 years. Today I learned that I have been wasting over 90% of it by using it improperly. The short version: Instead of allowing the medicine to...
Fawning while male: breaking gender stereotypes
“You’re a Momma’s Boy!” Oh, the things we say! Why do we tell boys not to cry, not to show emotions or weakness? Are we trying to protect them? From what? One answer: a harsh world, a dog-eat-dog world. We are training Spartans who can “win the fight.” One of the...
Sometimes you just can’t win some fatherhood challenges
Fatherhood is ego-bruising work. Isn’t it weird? I KNOW that I’m an expert but my kids make me FEEL like a complete novice. You manage a team at work. You exceed expectations. But this morning, you could barely manage to get the kids to school on time. The kids I...
What does human connection cost?
No one listens to me. I give up. I'm tired of trying to tell you how I feel. You don't care what makes me sad, worried, or frustrated. These were the messages I learned growing up. They still dictate how I function most of the time. For instance, we spend a huge chunk...