You may be stronger than you realize in managing change

My esteemed professor Maurice Prout taught me to ask three questions when I found myself hesitant to take action:

  1. What’s the real risk?
  2. What’s the real chance of that risk happening?
  3. If it did happen, could you take the hit?

Until I tease apart these external and internal factors for managing change, my mind jumbles up all of my fears and half-baked facts into a cacophony of blaring alarms and strobing warning signs.

When I lay the real facts out on the table, my mind can settle down.

I recently had a chance to use Dr. Prout’s technique.

Last month I accomplished a goal that I never thought was possible. Reaching this goal would upend my life.

I knew. for. certain. that it would change EVERYTHING!

My current job was burning me out, eating my soul, and souring my passion. Over the last decade, I had interviewed for several parallel positions but they never worked out. I had given up. I felt helpless and was losing life points by not leaving.

Last month, against all odds, I am happy to share that I found a new job and resigned from my current post.

I waited to feel everything change. And waited…

To my surprise, I don’t feel that different.

On one hand, this lack of transcendent elevation verifies how “well” balanced I am. A little TOO balanced, if you ask me.

I didn’t give enough credit to my internal resistance to positive change. And I don’t appreciate it.

If I hit the lottery and didn’t allow it to shake my world up, I would be proud. I would feel grounded and clear about who I am.

However, I’m not proud of my current balancing act. In fact, it makes me angry. I have created something enormous and great but now I wonder if I will be able to leverage the power I have unearthed.

My next big personal goal is to change the shape of my body with a weight loss and strength training program. I have learned from previous efforts what it will take for me to create lasting change. I am making plans and recruiting allies to help me get to the core issues that keep me in a state of homeostasis.

One clever question that an advisor asked yesterday was “Why DON’T you want to lose weight?”

My answer: I am afraid that I will unleash my real power. How will it change who I am? How will it affect my relationships? What if I start to attract more change than I can handle? I am afraid that I can’t handle that amount of responsibility. I am afraid that I won’t be able to harness my power, to put that Genie back into the bottle.

Then I followed Dr. Prout’s advice from above and asked myself, “What’s the real risk?”

I had to laugh. I was afraid that I will prove something to myself that I won’t be able to deny. I was afraid that it will sweep me away into a new state of being.

Did it pass the Prout test? Nope.

My last month has proven, in the face of undeniable evidence of my manifesting power, that nothing really changes.

Here I am, after clearly demonstrating to myself that I am able to manifest a HUGE accomplishment, yet I see very few ripples in the lake of my life.

It was like my internal emergency-braking system kicked into gear to suppress the impact of my life-changing move.

How did I tamp down this success?

For one, I have kept quiet about it. I have lots of reasons that I haven’t announced my news or shared it with more than my inner circle. The result? I stop myself from telling the people that would make it more real.

Secondly, I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I imagine ways that the offer will be withdrawn. I create stories about how the new job will be bad.

Lastly, I keep my power in the back of my mind. The equivalent of not flashing a wad of money around, I act like it’s cool to have a secret identity.

The facts are:

  • There is nothing cool about holding this as a secret. That’s why I’m sharing this experience with you today.
  • I am too busy controlling how much I release my news to step into my new power and start to use it.
  • I can handle it if the other shoe drops. Bring it on!

What goals do you want to accomplish?

Are you “interested” in achieving your goal? What would shift you from “interested” to “committed”?

Ask yourself both of these questions:

  1. How do you want things to change?
  2. How do you want things not to change?

photo credit: Vicky Sim/Unsplash