The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war.
– Norman Schwarzkopf
A dad that I coach asked, “What is the number one factor that prevents kids from growing up into teenagers that don’t talk to you?”
I didn’t need words to answer. I just held up my hands to the zoom screen.
He responded, “this?” Exactly! His kids were blessed with parents who took inspired action when they saw the writing on the wall.
They told me about the arguments and fighting, They asked, “What will this look like in ten years if we don’t address this now?”
I didn’t want to scare them. In my experience, if they can’t talk about their problems, teens cope using alcohol and other drugs, risky sex, and other self-destructive behavior, not to mention sufferingdepression, social anxiety, and suicide risk.
Fielding my coaching client’s question took me back 13 years to the moment that turned my practice upside down and kindled my calling.
In a focus group on mental health, a group of local teenagers shared the most incredible insight:
“Thanks for asking but our parents are the ones who need the help.”
I realized that my patients had told me the same thing but I didn’t listen. They said, “it’s nice to come to talk to you but I don’t really have a problem. My parents can’t cope and they are stressing me out. Help them!”
I couldn’t hear this because I was worried about what the change to my practice would do. Perhaps I wasn’t ready to speak truth to power. But the truth has a way of sticking in your head.
I have come a LONG WAY since that brainstorming session on mental health.
Now I coach parents because there is no time machine that will take you back to create the foundation that our kids need.
That’s why I coach parents of young kids or expecting parents. I do it for the next generation.
My mission: I am invested in expanding the opportunities your kids get to make a difference in the world.
Parenting is hard enough. Coaching can help you create the family culture that enables your kids to reach their endless potential.
Do you want to do more “sweating during peace” than “bleeding during war”?
I am a Positive Psychologist on a mission to raise an army of superheroes with the character to respond to the immense challenges that lie before us.
“Be The Best Dad Ever” is my six-week program where I invite cis, queer, straight, trans, white fathers, and fathers of color to gain confidence in their parenting, learn tools to manage stress, get more emotionally intelligent, and feel more connected. Be The Best Dad Ever transforms how you show up for your kids and your partner.