The Field of Play

Where do you get your best ideas?

      • sitting at your desk?
      • in the shower?

Your best ideas come in the shower, right?

Why is that?

When you don’t need to multitask, when you just need to do a simple, automatic task like washing your hair, your mind is finally free to do what it has been trying to do all week: generate ideas and make connections.

You tune in to that same rhythm when you “play hooky.” Your mind is free to roam. You get some of those “happy hormones” pumping through your system. Together with your family at the beach, on a hike, or just bingeing a new show together, gives you the chance to hang out in a timeless state.

That’s when memories are made. At the end of the day, you recall the laughter and how happy you all were.

Have you ever heard the saying, “a parent is only as happy as their least happy child?”

If you don’t know, now you know. (h/t The Notorious B.I.G.) Well, the converse of that saying is also true: our kids don’t thrive when their parents are professional worriers, stress monsters, or are barely holding it together.

Children thrive when their parents create spaces to chill out.

You can create your family culture intentionally using a coaching context that I call the “Field of Play.” I derived this name from the 13th-century Persian poet, Rumi, who wrote:

Out beyond ideas of right and wrong, there is a field. I will meet you there.

What I have learned from my super-parent clients (to paraphrase Rumi):

Out beyond feelings of shame and regret, out beyond not-good-enough, parents can create a space, a Field of Play. In that field, where parents can relax and be themselves, their children thrive.

The word “play” might feel frivolous to you, even decadent. We think, “grown-ups don’t have time for play, we have work to do. Raising kids is serious business.”

As adults, we have learned to regulate play and relaxation. These messages are the parenting version of Rumi’s “ideas of right and wrong.” But, like a splinter in the mind, you know that there is more. (yes, I’m a big Matrix geek.)

My point is: You haven’t forgotten how to play.

On a planned game night, family dinner, or playing mini-golf, you can enter your Field of Play. You summon the rhythm when you work together to plan a party or to serve others.

The Field of Play is where we connect with each other, consolidate learning, and co-create our wildest dreams.

As a coaching container, the Field of Play is where I give my clients permission to leave their assumptions and regrets at the door. Here is where we can workshop new ideas for your family without fear or the burden of shame. If it works, great! If it doesn’t, we tweak it and try again. The Field of Play is a no-failure zone.

If you are free to play, you can loosen your grip on the stress that limits innovation. Then you can harness the full potential of your parenting superpowers. After all, …

A child is only as free to explore as their most stressed-out parent.

Your Field of Play is always available. You don’t need to travel there. It is like another dimension that is right here with you, waiting for you to step into it.

I take a stand for the parents who dare to nurture their family cultures, the “gardens” in which our future leaders and innovators are grown.

The families I coach aren’t just raising healthy, happy, independent adults. I am invested in your kids becoming the next generation’s super-parents.

Email me when you are ready to enter the Field of Play.

I am always ready to go play!