Author Jim Rohn suggested that you are the “average” of the five people with whom you spend the most time in your life. Think about the people with whom you spend the most time each day. (Take a moment and write down a list of your top five.) Now ask yourself: Are the people on your list positive or negative? Do they laugh easily? Are they supportive?

If you agree with Rohn that your decisions, behaviors, and ability to bounce back from problems are the average of your “starting five,” as my friend Nate calls them, you will certainly want to be selective. You may even want to do some pruning. That doesn’t necessarily mean dropping friendships, but it does place a value on the time that you spend. You only have 86,400 seconds each day. How are you going to use them?

For instance, since I added Nate to my starting five, I have enjoyed the benefit of having a brother-in-arms who will tell me to “go for it” and who is there for me when I fall flat on my face. And I am proud to be a member of Nate’s starting five. Some days, life sets up like an obstacle course. You need good friends and people you love to help you make it through the course and cross the finish line. The support you receive from your network of friends and family is more that just good medicine, it’s a way to make your dreams come true.

But what if your bench is full of a lot of subs? Then you need to find some starters! Here’s a place to start: increase the value you bring to your friends and work to earn a spot on their starting five. Here’s a challenge: find ways to laugh more every day with the five people with whom you are closest. Send them a joke, invest in your friendship with a kind note, tell them a story. Remember, it works both ways.

Then strengthen your own game by taking these steps: identify your own superpowers, flex them more every day, and watch your positivity ratio go up. You can do this on your own or let me know how I can help you do less stressing and get more done.

Improving your own game will draw the right people into your life, making it easier for you to find your own starting five.

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